Graveyard Humor
Lemmington, England
Here lies a miser who lived for himself
Who cared for nothing but gathering wealth
Now where he is and how he fares
Nobody knows and nobody cares
***
Ash had now been
with the savage’s seventeen years, He had long identified himself with them,
spoke their language perfectly, and had almost forgotten his own; and had
adopted their dress, and all their modes of life. His right ear is affixed in
a peculiar manner for the purpose of wearing jewels. The edge of his ear,
about a third of an inch deep, is cut off, excepting at the ends where the ear
joins the head. This rim hangs down on the face, and serves as a kind of loop.
The parting gristle of the nose is perforated; there is likewise a hole in his
left ear. I made some inquiries as to his painting. He said he painted, and
wore about a hundred dollars worth of silver in ornaments, when we visited the
ladies. In his nose, he wore three silver crosses and seven half moons, valued
from five to six hundred dollars; and, as he proceeded to describe his
decorations for these excursions of gallantry, and reception he met with, I
could not but reflect on the effect which ornament has with the fair in all
ages and among all nations.
After peace,
proceeded he, I told the Indians I wanted to go to the white settlements and
see if any of my family were living. They at first made objections but finally
consented; and in full dress, with a good horse, a good gun, and a good
hunting dog, I started for Fort Pitt. Having traveled alone fourteen days in
the wilderness, I arrived at my place of destination. I there found a brother
and learned that my father was still living in Kentucky. After staying some
time at Fort Pitt, I was employed by a gentleman as a guide through the
wilderness to Detroit. When we arrived in the neighborhood of Detroit , I told
my employer that he might go on and that I would spend the winter among the
Indians with my wife, for I had taken a wife before I left them. He called for
me in the spring and we returned to Fort Pitt together. I sold my horse there
and proceeded down the Ohio River in a boat, with the intention of visiting my
father. I arrived at his house in the night, called him up and requested
entertainment for the night. He denied such a request to no man, whoever he
might be, but evidently was not much pleased with my appearance for I was
still in my Indian costume, and could speak but a few words of English. He
paid me little attention, gave a servant some orders about my lodging and was
about retiring to bed when I drew him into a conversation about his family. I
asked him if he had not a son George (many years before) taken by the Indians.
He replied that he had heard that he was in St. Clair’s defeat and was killed.
I assured him that the report was incorrect and that I knew something of his
son.